1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:04,738
* Attack me with your love...

2
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:05,906
CHRIS ROCK:
When I was 15 going on 16,

3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:09,043
the one thing I wanted most
was a kiss from a girl,

4
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,311
and I didn't care who it was

5
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,513
as long as she wasn't
in my family.

6
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,782
At the time, I thought
I would only get a kiss

7
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,584
one of a few ways.

8
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:19,087
There was
"catch a girl, kiss a girl."

9
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,656
She ran faster than Flo Jo.

10
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,326
There was "kiss a girl
and run like hell."

11
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,794
Huh!

12
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,130
* The third one is irrelevant

13
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,499
* 'Cause there's no time
or place *

14
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,801
And there was spin the bottle.

15
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,070
* Attack me
with your love, baby *

16
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:38,206
Ooh!

17
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,141
* Attack me with your love

18
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,142
Hey, Chris.

19
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:41,809
Hey, Tasha.

20
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:42,810
Hey, Drew.
Hey.

21
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,445
* Attack me with your love...

22
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,679
Hey, man, you
still like Tasha?

23
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,348
Does Angelina Jolie
like black babies?

24
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,549
Yeah.

25
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:49,850
You know she plays
spin the bottle.

26
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,219
You're lying.

27
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:52,220
For real.

28
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,221
Everybody's playing.

29
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,189
And he meant everybody.

30
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,162
So, if I can get
in the game,

31
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,131
maybe I can get
a kiss from her.

32
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,064
Yeah, if you're lucky.

33
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,666
If I was lucky,
I wouldn't be counting

34
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,401
on an empty bottle
to get me a kiss.

35
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:17,578
* Ah, make it funky now.

36
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:27,655
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

37
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:40,468
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

38
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,703
Have you ever been to a
spin the bottle party?

39
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,538
Hi. I don't believe
we've met before.

40
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,174
My name is Greg.

41
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,409
No, I haven't been
to a spin the bottle party.

42
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,411
I mean, I haven't
been to a party.

43
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,413
Why would you
even ask me that?

44
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,847
Because I'm trying
to get into one.

45
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:56,250
Hold on. You do
know what they do

46
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:56,884
at those parties, right?

47
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,619
Yeah. People kiss.

48
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:01,489
Oh. I must be thinking of a
different kind of game, then.

49
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,691
Greg wrote about that party
in his book,

50
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,193
Ow, There's a Bottle in My...

51
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,427
So, you ever
kiss anybody?

52
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,296
Hah. Have I?

53
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,630
You gotta be kidding me.

54
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,199
Cousins don't count.

55
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,234
Oh. Then no.

56
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,769
Are you sure you really want
to play spin the bottle?

57
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,205
I mean, there's
always a chance

58
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,306
that you'll end up
kissing somebody

59
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,440
that's... I don't know.

60
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,441
Let's just say...

61
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,542
Ugly!

62
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,910
I don't think you get it.

63
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,945
Tasha is at this party.

64
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,248
There's no guarantee your
spin's gonna land on her.

65
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,182
Listen, for me
it's a win-win.

66
00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:30,718
And all I know is,
I'm gonna get a kiss.

67
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,455
Hey, Mr. Omar.

68
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,789
Hey.

69
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:36,790
Who died?

70
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:37,758
Oh. Mr. Abernathy.

71
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:41,629
Got decapitated
by a flying hubcap. Tragic.

72
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,796
Tragic!

73
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,198
Is that his wife?

74
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:45,199
Mm-hmm.

75
00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,200
Mmm.

76
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,269
See ya.

77
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,803
Oh, hey, hey! Drew, Drew.

78
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,473
You got, uh, five dollars
I could borrow?

79
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,342
I don't loan money.

80
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,944
Come on.
You know I'm good for it.

81
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,946
Drew inherited one quality
from my father--

82
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:02,316
he was a tightwad, and he saved
every penny he got,

83
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,584
no matter how he got it.

84
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:16,964
Here.

85
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,932
Oh, thank you, son.

86
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,701
When are you gonna
pay me back?

87
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:21,502
Never!
Tomorrow.

88
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,271
Cool.
Okay.

89
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,840
Hey. Uh.. just keep the
change. That's all you.

90
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,376
All right?

91
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:30,844
Oh, hey, Tasha.

92
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,112
What's going on?

93
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,582
Nothing. Just need to pick up
some milk for my grandmother.

94
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,851
Oh. Would you like me to spin
over there and get you a bottle?

95
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,354
No. Why are you
acting weird?

96
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,356
Oh, I just heard
that you were at a party

97
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,424
in the neighborhood
the other night.

98
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,292
What?

99
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,726
Yeah, you know, spin the...

100
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,727
Hi-ya!

101
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,865
Look, don't you ever,
ever, ever repeat it.

102
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:52,866
Okay.
Okay?

103
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:53,667
I won't say anything.
Okay.

104
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,669
I just wanted
to go to the next one.

105
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:56,770
Well, it's
not up to me.

106
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,606
Lisa sets up
the parties.

107
00:03:58,639 --> 00:03:59,740
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

108
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,008
Can you let me go?

109
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,410
No. Promise you're not
going to tell nobody.

110
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,411
:
I promise.

111
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:04,578
Promise?
I promise.

112
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,046
Again.
I promise.

113
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,448
Promise.
I promise.

114
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,482
One more time.
I promise.

115
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,783
All right.

116
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:13,921
Tasha went on to become the
first female Ultimate Fighter.

117
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,789
I'm sorry, it's just if
my grandmother finds out,

118
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,625
she'll kill me.

119
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,827
Well, then, I just need
to talk to Lisa.

120
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,995
You can't ask her,
she has to ask you,

121
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,631
and you can't tell
her I told you.

122
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,633
It was like getting
into the Mafia.

123
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:29,036
All right, well, give me
something to work with.

124
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,671
How do I get into the game?

125
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:33,541
She likes Prince.

126
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,843
Okay.

127
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:42,316
Well, thank you for coming,
Lionel Richie family.

128
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:44,017
While I was being choked
by Tasha,

129
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:47,388
my mother's past
was being revived.

130
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,690
Mm.

131
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,092
"An old flame
will be reignited."

132
00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:54,928
What does yours say, baby?

133
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,430
Oh, I don't care.

134
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:57,465
They're all silly anyway.

135
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,800
No, no, they're real.

136
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,669
My wife writes the fortunes.

137
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,937
She can see into the future.

138
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,443
"Here comes Lance"?

139
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,545
Lance?

140
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,881
Rochelle?

141
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,015
Is that you?

142
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,517
Oh, my God.

143
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,519
Lance, what are you doing
around here?

144
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,521
I just bought another Laundromat
in the neighborhood.

145
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,889
You know Sire Suds?

146
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,357
That's you?
That's me.

147
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,526
Washing machines
fit for a a queen.

148
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,497
Oh, well, Lance,
this is my husband, Julius,

149
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,131
and my daughter, Tonya.

150
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,466
Hi.

151
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,034
What a lovely family.

152
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,936
But I always knew
you had good genes.

153
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,771
:
Oh, stop it.

154
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,741
Oh... What about you?

155
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,775
Are you married?

156
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:44,912
No, no, I, uh, let all
the good ones get away.

157
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,146
Yeah, sorry to hear that.

158
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,581
Nice to meet you, Larry.

159
00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,583
Lance.
Okay.

160
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:52,420
It's great seeing
you again, Rochelle.

161
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,121
Next time you come down, I'll
give you a few free loads.

162
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,857
Also, here are some
coupons for, uh,

163
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,759
a new dry cleaners
I'm opening.

164
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:02,596
My father would take a coupon
from bin Laden.

165
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,597
Thanks, Lurch.

166
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,598
It's Larry.

167
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,133
It's Lance.

168
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,968
Take care.
Good-bye, Rochelle.

169
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,070
Nice meeting you.

170
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,972
All right, Lance.

171
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,746
What?

172
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:25,519
After tomorrow came and went,
Drew came and went off.

173
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:26,987
Hey, Drew.

174
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,088
My man.

175
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,423
Where's my money?

176
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,459
Oh...

177
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:33,761
Man, I'm sorry, I totally
forgot all about that.

178
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:34,862
It's okay.

179
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:35,896
You can pay me now.

180
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,198
Okay.

181
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:40,668
You know what?

182
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,736
I left my wallet
at the office.

183
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,872
The office
in your back pocket?
So...

184
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,507
can I pay you tomorrow?
Yeah,

185
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,741
but I'm gonna have
to charge you interest.

186
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,477
Interest?
15%.

187
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,111
15%? That's outrageous.

188
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,146
On the streets it's 17.

189
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,048
I'm doing you a favor.

190
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,049
I'll be back.

191
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,184
Black Terminator.

192
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,655
While Drew was trying
to settle a debt,

193
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,824
I was trying to set up a score.

194
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,062
Hey, Lisa.

195
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,230
Chris.

196
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,231
What you been up to?

197
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,100
Oh, nothing, I've just
been around, you know,

198
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,602
at home listening
to Prince, but...

199
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:15,569
For real?

200
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,838
I love Prince
and anything to do with him.

201
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,473
She went
to see The Color Purple

202
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,108
because she assumed
it was about Prince.

203
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,142
Can I show you something?

204
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,143
What?

205
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,177
Do you remember at
the end of Purple Rain

206
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,214
when Prince sprayed
everybody with his guitar?

207
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,816
Yeah, I'll
never forget it.

208
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,183
Yeah, well, check this out.

209
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,686
Oh, my God, is that...?
Yes,

210
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,855
it's the hose he attached
to the back of his guitar.

211
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,524
Where did you get that?

212
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,158
I found it in the street,
dummy.

213
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,960
I got a friend
who lives in Minneapolis.

214
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,729
Oh, my God, can I touch it?

215
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:42,863
I'm not even touching that.

216
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:43,997
Maybe.

217
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,734
Look, what do you know about
this spin the bottle party?

218
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,904
Who told you?
Nobody.

219
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,005
No, somebody.

220
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,507
Who?
I won't tell you.

221
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,976
Who?
No.

222
00:07:56,009 --> 00:08:00,514
Okay, my house,
8:00 tomorrow night.

223
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,750
Don't tell anybody.

224
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,652
Thanks.

225
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:09,723
Ever since that day,
I've always loved hose.

226
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,567
Hey, Daddy.

227
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,602
Hey, baby.

228
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:24,838
Listen, I need you to do
something for me, okay?

229
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:27,808
Okay.
Your mother's birthday
is coming up.

230
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,977
Yeah, in three months.

231
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:34,748
Right, and I want to throw
a little party for her

232
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:37,150
and I was thinking of inviting
her friend Lance, but...

233
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,151
I don't know...

234
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,253
You want me to ask Mama
if she likes Lance?

235
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:41,589
Yeah.

236
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,658
Well, Daddy, I don't
think I can do that.

237
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,760
At least not for free.

238
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:49,262
Are you asking me for money?

239
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:50,964
Are you asking me
to spy on Mama?

240
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,633
It's not spying.

241
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,702
I just want you to ask her
a couple questions.

242
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,970
Well, how come
you can't ask her?

243
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,172
Because here's five dollars,
that's how come.

244
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,112
I'll take care of it.

245
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,279
Thank you.

246
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,683
Tonya made more money that
year than my father.

247
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:13,353
At school, Greg was putting
his usual spin on things.

248
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,321
Dude, you're so in there.

249
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,657
Yeah, and Tasha's coming.

250
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,858
Don't get
your hopes up.

251
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,127
The statistical chances of you
actually getting to kiss her

252
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,162
when there's six other players
at the party are about...

253
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,631
six to one.

254
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:26,333
Better than my usual
348 million to one.

255
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,868
I'm not worried
about that.

256
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,737
You shouldn't be worried
about it.

257
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,174
:
I just don't know if
I'm gonna do it right.

258
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,977
Lip-ups.

259
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,879
What?
Lip-ups.

260
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:39,680
Richie Cunningham
was afraid

261
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,014
of the same thing
on Happy Days

262
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,883
and the Fonz told him
to do lip-ups.

263
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,652
Put your face on the floor
and push up with your lips.

264
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,053
What

265
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,788
I'm not kissing the floor.

266
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:51,091
This is what happens when you
watch shows about white people.

267
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,862
What are you doing?

268
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,164
Oh, I was just looking
for a quarter I dropped.

269
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,667
Oh. Well, it looked like
you were doing lip-ups.

270
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,069
You know those don't work.

271
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,004
The hardest part
about practicing kissing

272
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,906
is trying to do it by yourself.

273
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,876
TONYA:
Ugh!

274
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,678
Boy, what is wrong with you?

275
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,713
Can't a boy kiss himself
in the mirror in peace?

276
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,916
Mr. Omar?

277
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,417
Drew

278
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,819
Where's my money?

279
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,654
You said you were
coming back tomorrow.

280
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:21,722
It is tomorrow.

281
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,691
It's 4:00 in the morning, man.

282
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,025
I want my money.

283
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,394
Drew, I got to get up in
the morning and go to work.

284
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,029
And I got to get up
and go to school,

285
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,799
but I can't concentrate
because I don't have my money.

286
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,702
Okay, okay.

287
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:35,869
Can you give me another day?

288
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,738
Fine.

289
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,708
But another day is going
to cost you another dollar.

290
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,043
And after tomorrow, that's it.

291
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,778
What's it?

292
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:45,679
Nothing.

293
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,748
I'd just hate to see
something bad happen.

294
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,416
What kind of something?

295
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,685
Something tragic.

296
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:54,187
Have a nice night.

297
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,924
Drew went on to help found
Death Row Records.

298
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,159
Omar's day had taken a turn
for the worse,

299
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,729
but my night was about to get
a whole lot better.

300
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:02,930
Come in.

301
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,432
I need you to watch Tonya.

302
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,266
What?

303
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,434
I'll be back around 9:00.

304
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,369
Okay, baby, be good.

305
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,738
All right.

306
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,206
In bed by 9:00
and stay out of my room.

307
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,412
What are you looking at?

308
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:22,850
About five to ten when I
drown you in that cereal bowl.

309
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,319
I need you to do
something for me.

310
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,421
What?
I'm going out,

311
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,757
and I need you to stay here
and keep your mouth shut.

312
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,191
That's five dollar's
worth of need.

313
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:34,027
Fine. Mom will be back
at 9:00, be in bed.

314
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,196
And if I don't get in trouble,
I'll pay you when I get back.

315
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,231
Okay.

316
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,167
Tonya invested
all of her extortion money

317
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,468
and retired at 30.

318
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,238
Playing spin the bottle
was one of the greatest moments

319
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,974
of my teenage life.

320
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,809
It was the best shortcut
to kissing girls,

321
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:52,045
outside of becoming famous.

322
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,848
Ooh, Susan.

323
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:55,916
Mm.

324
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,234
I wish that was me
kissing her.

325
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,038
Please, please, please.

326
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,541
Damn, damn, damn.

327
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,045
Instead of spinning the bottle,

328
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,080
I wanted to bust it
over his head.

329
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,851
TASHA:
Chris, your turn.

330
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,853
Finally!

331
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,191
Hey, this ain't
the Logo channel.

332
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,994
Spin it again, Chris.

333
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:42,830
I needed the bottle
to point to a girl

334
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:46,033
so I could take my lips
for a spin.

335
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,082
It wasn't Tasha,
but I could pretend.

336
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:08,355
* Yes, I'm saving all my love
for you... *

337
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,423
*

338
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,993
TASHA:
Dag, Chris, that's enough.

339
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,930
You act like it's your first
kiss or something.

340
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,265
Wait till I tell Greg.

341
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,101
If you tell anybody,
I will break your lips.

342
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,871
In that case, wait till I write
Greg a detailed letter.

343
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:30,077
After my first kiss, the world
seemed like a different place.

344
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,912
A girl's lips had touched mine.

345
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,848
It was great, and nothing
was ever going to change that.

346
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,025
So you're Chris?

347
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,160
Yeah. Who are you?

348
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,428
Nobody.

349
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,498
Just a dude who wanted to know
who my girl was talking about.

350
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:52,632
What?

351
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,600
It's cool, man.

352
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,602
I just want her
to be happy.

353
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,504
But I still
love her though.

354
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,606
But, you know, if you're
the one she wants,

355
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,975
then, you know,
that-that-that's cool.

356
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,576
That's cool. I'm gonna
just deal with that.

357
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,611
Deal with that?

358
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,246
Man, what are you
talking about?

359
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,414
It's ai'ight, man.

360
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,316
You won. You won.

361
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,618
You know it, I know it,

362
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,320
and Susan knows it.

363
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,155
But check this out.

364
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,190
If you mess up...

365
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,059
I'll be there.

366
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:22,529
Hopefully not with one glove
and a friend in a Bronco.

367
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:26,033
I'm gonna be there, Chris!

368
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,668
I will be there!

369
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,470
While I had one foot
in the grave,

370
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:33,473
Tonya was digging up dirt.

371
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,109
Hey, baby.

372
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,277
Hey, Ma.

373
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,146
Can I ask you something?

374
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:40,914
Sure. What is it?

375
00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,150
Did you ever kiss Lance?

376
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,584
Smooth.

377
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,687
That, Tonya, is none
of your business.

378
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,656
Okay, well...

379
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,926
do you love Lance more
than you love Daddy?

380
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,161
Instead of beating
around a bush,

381
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,595
Tonya took a chainsaw to it.

382
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:58,298
ROCHELLE:
Well, since you're so interested
in knowing what happened,

383
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,101
I guess I'll tell you.

384
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:05,939
I was dating Lance
and then I met your father.

385
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,241
You want to know why
I broke up with Lance?

386
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,077
Why?

387
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,579
Because your father was,

388
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:17,150
is and will always be
the love of my life.

389
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,718
Okay?

390
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,021
Okay.

391
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,689
That okay with you, Julius?

392
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,192
Okay.

393
00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:30,998
Brooklyn was the home
of many modern trends,

394
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,966
stalking was one of them.

395
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,634
So was the sensitive thug.

396
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,303
So was the restraining order.

397
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,171
Years later,
Dwayne would go on to be

398
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:40,373
the first guy from Brooklyn
to have a prison marriage

399
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:44,377
with a girl he stalked,
stabbed and restrained.

400
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,617
Hey, Chris.

401
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,052
Who is Dwayne and why is
he following me around

402
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,186
and standing outside my house?

403
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:57,457
Oh, he's my boyfriend.

404
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,360
But he wasn't acting right,
so I told him about our kiss.

405
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,729
I thought you said
not to tell anybody.
You didn't, did you?

406
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,197
We're not talking about me.
We're talking about you.

407
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:07,034
And plus, you don't
have somebody following
you around in fatigues?

408
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,168
Hey, calm down, okay?

409
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,336
He ain't gonna do nothing.

410
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,503
How do you know?

411
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:11,671
I'll talk to him.

412
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,340
Isn't that how
all this got started?

413
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,382
Can I ask you a question?

414
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,551
Sure.

415
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,219
That kiss, I mean,
was it good?

416
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:29,422
Was it too much lip,
too sloppy?

417
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:32,759
It was... fine.

418
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,761
You're a good kisser.

419
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,196
Really?

420
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,764
Yeah.

421
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:47,240
At that moment, I had never
been more happy, or afraid.

422
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:51,144
I had two kisses and a death
threat, and I was cashing out.

423
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,146
Really.

424
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,814
It was nice.

425
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:58,351
If you tell anybody,
I will break your tongue.

426
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,353
Shouldn't I be saying that?

427
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:03,323
While I was counting
my blessings,

428
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,725
Mr. Omar had to pay the piper.

429
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,228
I know it's hard
to lose your husband.

430
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:12,031
But remember, he's in
a better place right now.

431
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,667
Drew?!

432
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,269
Where's my money?

433
00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:18,305
Man, we're on our way
to a funeral.

434
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,140
You want to make it two?

435
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,510
You're not going anywhere
until I get my money.

436
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,614
You got five dollars
I could borrow?

437
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,149
Seven.

438
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,183
Seven.

439
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,619
This is coming out
of your bill.

440
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:37,190
Mr. Omar hated paying back
money even if it wasn't his.

441
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,591
Thank you.

442
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,193
And, uh,
sorry about your husband.

443
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,494
At least one of them is.

444
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:47,300
While Drew collected his money,

445
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,136
Susan called
to collect her man.

446
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,814
Hey, Chris.

447
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:03,015
Hey.

448
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:05,218
Could you come down for a
second, I want to talk to you.

449
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,319
Sure.
The funny thing about girls is

450
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:09,122
even when they say
they don't care what you do,

451
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:12,492
they still care
who you're doing it with.

452
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,262
I heard about
you and Susan.

453
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,163
Heard what?

454
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,198
You know.
Everybody knows.

455
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,166
She broke up with Dwayne
for you.

456
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,333
Who told you that?

457
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,501
Dwayne.

458
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,902
Well, it's not true.

459
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,504
Oh.

460
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,140
I was going to say,
after one kiss, dang.

461
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,142
I had no idea
what all that meant,

462
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,377
but I took it as a compliment.

463
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,545
So do you like her?

464
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,747
I mean, she's all right.

465
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,383
She a good kisser?

466
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,684
Better than my pillow.

467
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:38,885
It was cool.

468
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,487
You think she's better than me?

469
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,921
Kissing?

470
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,423
No. Tetherball, stupid.

471
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,791
I don't know.

472
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,859
When you kissed Robert,
you looked pretty good.

473
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:47,927
I did?

474
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,196
Yeah.

475
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,731
Is your mom home?

476
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,833
Uh, no, why?

477
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,935
Can we go upstairs for a second?

478
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,069
What for?

479
00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:00,207
Hey, idiot, can't you see
what's happening here?

480
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,774
I want to show you something.

481
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,243
Okay, cool.
Thank you.

482
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,577
Hi, Tasha.

483
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,912
Hi, Chris.
Dang it.

484
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,747
Hey, Mom.
Hi.

485
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,416
Baby, when you're done here,
I want you to come help me

486
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:10,783
with dinner, okay?
Okay.

487
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,186
All right. Tasha, tell your
grandmother I say hello.

488
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,355
Come on.

489
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,757
Oh, I forgot I have
to wash the dishes.

490
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,959
Oh, okay, well,
what were you going to show me?

491
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,228
Nothing.

492
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,930
I'll just see you later.

493
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,266
I never did find out what Tasha
was going to show me,

494
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:30,903
but after my first kiss,
I saw a whole new side of her.

495
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,675
Yes, may I help you?

496
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,310
Hi, are you Chris's mother?

497
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,678
Yes.

498
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:39,912
Why

499
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,781
He was at a party with
my daughter, Susan,

500
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,283
last Wednesday night.

501
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,384
Oh, no, no, no,
I don't think so.

502
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,419
Chris was here at home
watching my daughter for me

503
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:47,487
on Wednesday night.

504
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,458
Okay, well, somebody named Chris
was at that party

505
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,460
and she said that he lived here.

506
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:57,230
Look, I'm just trying to inform
everybody who was at the party

507
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,599
that Susan was contagious
and she has the mumps.

508
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,302
Well, I don't know
what you're talking about

509
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,437
because Chris doesn't have
the mumps.

510
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,339
One minute.

511
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,308
Chris!

512
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:18,918
Maybe the mumps will cushion
my butt-whupping.

513
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,954
* Everybody hates Chris.

514
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:25,992
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